CORONAVIRUS THOUGHTS

It's a long time since I wrote a blog. Yes, I wrote a lot after the death of my parents, also, I added in some posts on other topics too but then "just living my life" all that got in the way...

Today however, life has taken a strange new direction - not just for me but everyone... A few weeks ago, COVID-19 was greeted with many jokes about it's 'almost friendly Corona name' when we first started to hear about it. I doubt, there are any educated who are so jovial about the virus now.

Social media is awash with conspiracy theories and misinformation. I do not want to add to the negatives. But, I do feel like I want to say something - even if that is to just repeat the sensible advice which is out there. I am a down to earth, feet on the ground type of soul. And, I also have experience in marketing (particularly in respect of information to be shared to try and inform people so that their actions do not lead to negative outcomes, in this case, the spread of the virus). Who knows, maybe I will not feel 'the need' to continue writing about this. I make no promises but it is as if my part of the world woke up this weekend to the threat (the very real threat) that this disease can kill. That the stories we heard in China, then from Italy - that actually, the virus and frightening stories have come to our shores and no, life will not be the same again (maybe ever but certainly, not 'business as usual' for a very, very long time).

Today, I have already shared to instagram and my facebook page the above photo - for now, I won't repeat all the message here (you can look it up if you wish ). I guess that here, I just want to add in a personal side of life, the thoughts from my life as, just another person who is watching, waiting and wondering - "where will all this go?".

From Autumn 2019 to Spring 2020, I have worked in the NHS, in a role connected to marketing but not specifically on health issues. However, at Christmas I did circulate posters around my building to try and minimise the spread of Norovirus (the winter vomiting bug). I was opening door handles with tissues, keeping my distance from folk where I could, washing my hands (many, many times each day) and yet - I still got Norovirus. Goodness, how sick I was and then, I felt pretty awful for a couple of weeks. And, it was over that time, that I began to hear about this new virus and - it alarmed me right from the beginning (because of all I have learnt from previous studies I have done on the spread of disease and how people tend NOT to think that it could happen to them... until it does. So, they don't take preventative measures or sensibly change their behaviour in time).


From the start of 2020, events progressed and then, there I was (just before I left) assisting my NHS Communications team, helping them circulate information, putting up Coronavirus information posters. 

My fixed term contract drew to a close but, what personal events... a death in my family happened and there I was, now not at work, organising a funeral and about to move in to a new job... But actually, having to take some BIG decisions very quick - having to reassess the situation. I wanted to work but decisions were now influenced on "if I choose this or that job - will the work still be there as COVID-19 progresses? Events continued and by 13 March it was the day of the family funeral. And how quickly things were now unfolding as numbers moved upwards. The Minister having to make a statement at the funeral. And me, having to make this one as folks travelled to the service. Knowing that, something as natural as a handshake or a hug could pass on a virus (if with anyone, it's sight to go unseen for days until it would be spread to another... and another).

Life has changed at great speed and it is still changing. Any difference I could make, I think, has to be less than minimal ( drop in an ocean). Nevertheless, I feel the need to put something out there to at least be a voice which is passing on, either solid information or just highlighting the power of holding positive thoughts. Therefore, in this blog (my first on Coronavirus) - I want to end with just one simple statement. By educating yourself you can lower your risk of you getting the virus and, at the same time, minimise the numbers that you, yourself will impact as you pass on the virus. Therefore, keep in mind (yes, all the guidance such as washing your hands, social distancing etc) but also keep in mind that:

WHEN YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHAT'S HAPPENING , CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO CONTROL THE WAY YOU RESPOND TO WHAT'S HAPPENING. (THAT IS WHERE YOUR POWER IS).

To close, I share with you my personal story of today 

1. from a friend, I received by post 20 paracetamol. He told me he had searched his house, found 30, he had kept 10 and wanted me to have 20 (myself living in a city, him in a rural area, he thought I might need these before him). 

What scarce supplies there are in Edinburgh shops, at the moment, of things like paracetamol. Now, the other thing most missing is not a medicine but highly recognised. 

To my house, arrived another friend this morning... For three weeks toilet rolls have vanished from Edinburgh shops. And, err, she just wanted to give me a pack (she had kept another pack for her self). 

Such gestures of kindness and friendship - they are small things but also, these are the sort of things which actually, are NOT so small (they all add up). Living life, in this way of thinking about others - that's what we need to do more of right now. Don't wait for the Govt to tell you to distance yourself from others (for their benefit and your own), do it now. Lets everyone do what they can to reduce the speed that this virus transfers. Lets do all we can to lower the curve of the COVID-19 graph. Protect your own health and the health of others.

Onwards and upwards everyone. Wishing you all the best, Shona x

:-D SMILE AND PASS IT ON!

Have you ever - watched a honey bee at work? Flying from flower to flower, it doesn't quit. Working away, always busy. Indeed, a honey bee could visit 2 million flowers to make one pound of honey - the sweetest reward to be found from a long, long hard struggle.

There are many quotes which can be recalled upon to give inspiration to a tired and flagging spirit. One of my most favourite comes from the Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson who said: "never underate the duty of being happy." A man suffering from many health problems throughout his life - he was one who made a very conscious decision as to how he wanted to approach his life - he chose to look for and seek out the positive, something I think that everyone should try to do (for their own personal benefit).

Today, in Scotland, (and other European countries) the clocks went back. I was reminded by a friend in Spain who sent me the cheery wee image here (thanks Tony!).

An extra hour, 60 minutes to enjoy a longer, lazy snooze in bed or the potential of an hour to do something else - something more memorable. As I thought about how to use my 'extra hour' - I recalled a series of events from a few years back...

Some time ago, I set up an online group called ":-D SMILE and pass it on!" Within 3 weeks it exceeded 1,000 members. People posted to the group wall their photos and sayings which made them smile. But, to me personally, a number of questions were directed - why was I doing this? What was my motive? And even criticisms that, at the time, I really didn't need... I'd just lost my mum to cancer and behind my cheery public smile I was very much working hard to be outwardly positive. Then, one night, words in an email did 'cut in' bitterly and very quietly I slowly began to remove the online group. People's comments - good and bad can influence all of us and it is sad that they pushed me into removing a group which was certainly doing nothing negative. Yet, as time has passed, I have bounced back again. Stronger in mind, happier in myself and with a quiet 'determination' - this is my life and I aim to live it! Getting out and enjoying the world around me, like the endless beauty of the changing seasons in Scotland, always nourishment for my heart and soul and something to share with others. 

27.10.11 Let there be light, Shona McMillan © 

And of course - I benefit too from a great group of friends. People who I know have certainly helped me in what they've said but also in the things that they have done and continue to do. One friend being the catalyst to me beginning an album of funny photos on my Celtic Reflections page. For sure, there's nothing Celtic about these photos, except that their journey to me was latterly from Ireland. My friend there has the motto "A day without laughter is wasted" - and my goodness, he has shared a lot of laughter with me since we met. Back then at that time, I was recovering from the shock of losing my mum to cancer and then, this year, I also lost my dad. And throughout these tough times, my friend was ALWAYS there to send me an endless supply of daft, funny photos, pictures and positive sayings. In the same way that my friend from Spain (before his English became so good) he would send to me masses of musical links to tunes and clips that he thought I'd enjoy... Yes, these are all quite small gestures if each is evaluated on its own but, over time, these many small gestures do add up to make a BIG difference! (they certainly have brightened my days and made a big difference to me!). And then, last night, when I was beginning to feel pretty aggravated at being unable to find something "I'd put away in a safe place" (an absolute recipe for it to be lost!) - my aggravation turned in to a big smile as I remembered one of the funny pictres I had been sent some time ago - a photo now very relevant. 

I found the photo again online - posted first to my page on 25.09.10. Sharing it again on Facebook in 2011, new people commented about it and we all shared another laugh. So this morning - when I wondered what to do with my extra hour from the clocks going back, it seemed to me that it was the perfect opportunity to begin a new chapter in my own 'philosophy in practise' - my ":-D SMILE and pass it on" an album for me to share with others - rippling out through the internet things to make people smile and promote positive thinking and action. Therefore, on my Facebook page SHONA MCMILLAN CELTIC REFLECTIONS more photos will be added together with sayings that I enjoy and I hope others benefit from too. [And if you would like to contribute a funny photo or inspirational saying - please do get in touch]. We live in the real world - it is not always beautiful, life is not easy and people can be mean... BUT the real world can be good as well as bad. In my photos I try to show the beauty of what I see around me, I'd also like to add: positive thinking and humour. I realise that I am just one person posting things on the internet but just as I have benefitted, from a friend's photo (sent to me over a year ago) so too then do others have the potential to benefit. And yes I know, I'd like to take a wee bit of time in my life - to try and help shine out a light and share a smile with others.

I shared a story yesterday with a friend - one of the last stories my mum shared with me. Mum told me that she was going to work early and this day, in poor weather, was an old lady at her garden gate and sweeping her path. Mum smiled and said to her "fancy being up and out at this time on such a morning" - but something in the woman's expression made mum stop this morning so she could listen and talk. Sure enough, the lady smiled back "Och I know my dear but in truth, ever since you smiled at me weeks back - I get up to start my day with your smile. My family are all gone now and sometimes it's just nice to say hello to you and see you smile back at me. Your smile it brightens my day". I recall my mum saying she had smiled and promised "I'll never pass you by without a hello and a smile". Mum went on to say to me "Never underestimate the power and the value of a smile, it costs nothing to give but it can mean oh so very much to receive" - wise words and my reflecting on these was my starting place for :-D SMILE and pass it on! It is a beautiful world but there's room for improvement and everyone has the potential to do something to make it a better place.

People can be negative and say - what hope do you have of making a difference and I'd say - no hope if we never begin to try. The world is full of what I'd call "emotional polluters' and me, I don't have the inclination to reserve a place in my life for their negativity. Each day is a new beginning, each day is the start of the rest of our lives, each day containing 24 hours of potential to :-D SMILE and pass it on!

 

THE SUNSHINE OF YOUR SMILE

I have travelled to many great countries, made wonderful friends and pretty much put down roots which keep special people and places forever in my heart. But, Scotland has always brought me home and here, there has seemed to be various homes - East Lothian where my mum's family came from, Edinburgh where I grew up and Kinlochbervie and Durness in the Highlands where my family holidayed. Yet, when it comes time to pack up a house, then you see: "home is where your parents house is." This I realised when, I moved to Inverness to accept a new job (168miles away). Moving to a most beautiful house - everything looked new and exciting but going forward was to stretch my ties to 'home'. As I prepared to leave, mum was determined not to be upset in front of me and said "I am so happy for you, so pleased for you to realise your dreams and we can talk on the phone, you'll visit when you can but oh, I will miss your smile!... So, with this in my mind, I took and printed off a life size photo of my smile (wrinkles and all!). A picture mum loved and one she kept beside her chair in the living room. A photo which also (at times) went with her through to the front room, where she liked to have a cigarette (in peace as we hated her smoking), and there, she'd look out to sea with her thoughts.

Mum at home, preparing to wave me goodbye
and, after Inverness, a safe return back to Edinburgh

2011, and thinking of her smile today, I looked out some photos such as this one. A photograph I took of her some years later, when she stood outside her home - ready to wave goodbye to me in May 2006 as I set out for Inverness for the last time. Planning to return to my house in Edinburgh (keen to get 'home' as, behind mum's smile, I thought I saw 'something' telling me that something was 'wrong'....)

Photographs, so very important - their content capable of messages which can convey to us so much more than our words ever can.

Mum celebrating her 80th birthday in May 2006
- on an adventure with me as we began "People of the Sea"

By Autumn 2006, I needed a new smile for my mum - a smile to try and match the needs of a worsening situation. Ever with her cheery disposition, mum would have us laughing but there was a marked change in her health and I believed she was preparing for something very bad ahead. Possessing remarkable faith, mum drew on her religion to keep her spirits up as again and again we'd take her in to hospital. We believed pains she was experiencing were a symptom of something being very wrong but doctors were reluctant to agree, the doctors told us we were all just worrying needlessly.

At eighty, mum was told to expect discomfort with old age but she was not a woman to complain so finally, after being repeatedly sent home from Edinburgh's main A & E, we took her to the Western General who kept her in. They wanted to conduct an operation to see what was going on. There were mixed emotions - finally we would have answers to our questions but also, of course, we were so very scared. Many jokes were shared to try and ease the tension!  Indeed, there is nothing like a hospital ward to see laughter as Nature's medecine for our darkest hours. Black humour can appear shocking to those outwith a situation but for those going through it - laughter REALLY helps! And, once in hospital, events with my mum's illness increased at an absolute mind numbing speed.

Sharing a smile in difficult times - the last photo I took of me and mum,
squeezed together so I could stretch my arm out and photograph us both

On the Sunday my mum had been sent away from A & E, on the Wednesday terminal cancer was diagnosed (and just 65 days were to follow). Told that her remaining time would be short mum's reaction was to radiate a degree of strength I had never seen before and, in her final days, she consistently chose laughter over tears. Back home, she asked me to sing to her but that first time, when I thought she had fallen asleep, my voice broke and I couldn't finish the song. Her eyes flashed opened and she asked "Are you crying?" "Yes" I said "mum, this is really hard" She replied in the strongest tone "It's a bloody site harder where I'm sitting! There'll be time enough for tears but for now, time is far too precious and you must BE STRONG".

That night when I went home I got out my camera and I practised a smile - a smile which would reflect the strength my mum was showing to me so that, in turn, I could do my part to let her leave this world as she wanted to. Mum explained she had felt scared and unable to cope when her mother fell ill but as she said to me "it's the way of the world and you will find the strength you need to help you get through just as everyone else has to do when this time arrives".... (and that was true) Yes, I did go out to a book shop to try and find a book, something I could read which would help me find a way to get through that time, something to help me but, in the end I found that I could actually be my greatest help. Just by taking one day at a time the difficult days would pass and eventually sunshine would return.  I knew I had seen my mum grieve for her mother but, before granny passed on, I had seen mum fight not to let her own sadness spill through in to granny's last days - so too then for me, I knew I had to try and be as strong. AND I am no different from anyone else - the strength comes to us to tackle things we would think we can not endure. And for me, my challenge began with a smile on my face for my mum when my heart was so heavy inside.

Granny & Granda with Venture

Granny and granda, gone by the time I was 17, mum gone five years ago, my dad (in his 90th year) now lost to dementia. Our culture can shy away from talking about such things but death is as much a part of life as birth. And, as my mum said to me "it's not that death should be feared so much that some will reach that final chapter without ever having really lived". So for me, when I reflect on those gone, yes, I can shed a tear but more often I smile. I remember the good times, I prefer to celebrate the lives of those who have gone before.

I choose to smile, I smile because life is precious and by creating your own sunshine - it may not brown the skin but it sure can warm the heart. A smile is like sunshine, from and for the heart!

Thinking of my mum's smile, I remembered her laughing and singing with her mother. I also recalled my granda' singing to granny her favourite song "The sunshine of your smile!" I found myself smiling as I recalled it and the two of them laughing. How granny would say "Oh Billy be quiet" when he would sing to her - but smiling with a pride which told him she loved the song and him singing it. My mum in turn, after granny and granda' were gone, how she would sing the song recalling her parents and then today, me with the same song thinking of her.  Yes, we can be sad when those we have loved are gone but we can also be so very glad that we have known them and they have shared these special times with us to enrich our lives. In addition, how special it is for us to know, that those who have greatly touched our lives, they still live on with us in our hearts, our thoughts, our memories. True love is a bond that forever endures until, as in the words of the song,  life itself is gone.

It seems to me that the power of a smile is something really remarkable, its value is never to be underestimated. Indeed, my philosophy for life being :-D SMILE and pass it on. Life can never run smoothly but when we understand that, we can actively seek to make life better. Positive thinking, it's all in the mind and something as simple and as beautiful as a smile is something that we all can benefit from. As my mum so often said "I pass this way but once, any good I can do then let me for, I may not pass this way again."

The Value of a Smile (anon)

A smile costs nothing but creates much.

It enriches those who receive without

impoverishing those who give.

It happens in a flash and the memory

of a smile can last a lifetime.

None are so rich that they can

get along without a smile and,

none are not so poor,

that they cannot afford a smile.

Yet, a smile from the heart cannot

be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen.

For a smile is of no earthly good until

it is given away

And if ever it happens that some

are people too tired to give you a smile

- then why wait for them but give them

a smile left from you to them

For no one needs a smile so much

as those who have none left to give

:-D SMILE and pass it on!

I was previously asked by a Cancer Charity to share my experience of losing my mum. However, some things can only be shared when the time seems right. Five years on (and very happy in my life) I chose to share this story today because at some point, someone may be faced with a difficult situation, as I was when I looked for information from others to help me. Yet, until that time comes, we really don't know just what we are capable of and how strong we can be. Therefore, I would hope that what I have written proves a comfort in some way to another. In life we all have to pass through difficult times and now it always helps me to remember the phrase "and this too shall pass".  The phrase applies equally to good and bad, saying that we should both find comfort from the fact that our troubles will end just as our good times should fully be enjoyed whilst they visit. Time is indeed so precious, we need to live life to the full and of course, those we have loved would never wish us to be sad but let our pain go so we can reach out and embrace our life - Carpe Diem (Seize the Day!)